*I’m going to apologize in advance as this post is a bit sporadic as I try to explain my thoughts and feelings as of late. *
You know those times when something is so funny you laugh so hard (and keep laughing) until you cry? Those times when you laugh so hard your ribs hurt the next day? I feel so blessed to be able to have moments like that. To feel pure joy and happiness in moments that allow me to laugh until I cry.
Remember how I said I was a waterworks wreck the day of our wedding? That all the emotions of the day just toppled over and I couldn’t keep those feelings in and they flowed over in joyful tears?
I guess what I’m trying to say is that I’m the type of person who feels. Yes, I might play things off and act like things don’t bother me or that certain things are no big deal. But the truth is, that’s probably a lie. I feel. And I feel deeply.
During times of happiness and joy, that’s a wonderful blessing. It means I feel pure joy during those moments in my life. Moments where I’m so content and blissfully happy, and grateful for the people and moments in my life.
But on the flip side of that, when things are not so lighthearted and happy, and life is harder…I feel that too.
Marriage is wonderful. Marriage is also an adjustment. I’m finding that life is full of seasons of adjustments.
Many know that I have moved to Kingwood where David grew up and lived his whole life. I do the bulk of my work at home. Aside from weekend weddings and 2-3 sessions a week, I do all of my editing, correspondence, bookkeeping and the daily ins and outs of my business from the comfort of my home. It only made sense that I move to Kingwood where David would be closer to his job for commute reasons. I like Kingwood. It’s a lot like the Woodlands except less congested (in my opinion), and that’s a good thing.
What I hadn’t really considered when I made the move was that I was now an hour away from my family and friends. It didn’t seem like that big of a deal at the time as we are still in the greater Houston area and it’s only an hour drive…but, an hour is still an hour.
If you didn’t know, David has recently started a new job. Everything happened so quickly around our wedding. He was offered the job about two weeks before our wedding, and then called in last minute the morning of our rehearsal dinner to complete paperwork and medical testing, and then he officially started right after our wedding. He loves the new job and all the potential growth opportunities this job has (something that was really important to us). This job also has a pretty whack schedule. He’s working ten hours days, five days a week with an hour commute each way. So long days for David. But like I said, we are grateful for this opportunity he has.
When people ask about my job and what I do for a living, they always think it’s red roses and flowers. The easiest job ever (or some even think it’s not a real job at all). I could go on and on about the perception of my job and how great it must be to work from home everyday. I get it. I can even work in my pajamas if I want. In reality, while there are some perks of working from home, it’s also very lonely. And sometimes it can be quite depressing.
Most people have coworkers. A place to go to work everyday to get them out of the house….a place with face-to-face human interaction. Working from home, all day, every day, by yourself is not all its cracked up to be. Living in a city where your friends and family are an hour away, and you don’t know anybody else, is hard. Being alone most of the time while your husband is gone for 12 hours a day is tough.
Remember when I said I’m a “feeler?” I wish I could just brush this all off and have it not be that big of a deal. Heck, I know I probably sound like a complainer and a baby right now…I get it. But I’m definitely going through a season of adjustment right now in my life as I process these feelings and how to handle them. It hasn’t been easy. But like I said, I’m in a season of adjustment and eventually I’ll get there.
I’m so blessed to have a man who loves me and calls me his wife.
Here’s to new seasons and learning during periods of adjustment.
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